I WROTE this poem, I think, 15 years ago. It mirrors my break from the Left that started in the Philippines in the mid-1990s onto my grim experience with their comrades in New York City, which pushed me to move to Asheville NC in 2000 to seek “peace” and heal, and why I organized/produced “Bonfires for Peace” in public parks.

My response to newspaper interviews: “The Bonfires (for Peace) is not politics. This is a community convergence, whoever you are.” And then my frustration after covering the Occupy protest in Wall Street in 2011: “No leaders, no followers.” Today’s Left is fighting their own shadow, an enemy that is ushered by their “romanticized, idealized fear” of what may happen in a dystopian future, unable to see the horror in the gutters–ignoring the writings on the wall from Day 1 of the 21st century’s Great American Divide. Two dead in Minnesota blurring the dead in Ukraine, Gaza and Iran. And still, the Left believes the “war” is here, within and not without, far from our beloved “Democracy.” ☮️🗽☮️

Just So You Know

Just so you know

I am not coming to the party

I will not be in the drum circle

I won't be marching with the crowd

I will not be there. I am not going

I will not be present. I am gone.

The red wine that drenched beaten chests

in drunken celebration of our victories are all gone

spent, consumed, drained. The bottles broken

shards and splinters scattered on the pavement.

There's no more wine in the cellar of my searching.

The drums that I used to pound with strong hands

of coal and fire to usher thunders of rage among

bugles and brass have lost their rhythm.

I couldn't follow the beat anymore. My feet

and legs are worn out from all the marches

and hikes. Tired, blistered, bones twisted

my boots are punctured, with holes wide

as the hollow in my monsoon fed lungs. 

Just so you know. I won't be there.

But carry on and start the bonfire

without me. Let the heat surge

and illuminate the dusk of these

burning avenues and highways.

Dawn in the mountain reveals

columns of broken piano keys that

I couldn't follow. A drunken sky

of black pigeons splash in

the putrid waters but I couldn't

recognize them. The wolf's cry

that once woke me up from

stupor has a voice that I couldn't

understand. I couldn't hear the call

of crows or the tapping of ravens

anymore. Just so you know

I won't be there. You don't need me

in the next convergence to calm

the tempest that pummels the glade.

Just so you know why I am not

joining the din of jungles anymore.

I lost my armour along this journey.

Roads that once screamed the pain

time has covered my moss.

The bolsheviks of academias

and the revolutionaries on the rostrum

are drowned out by the discourse

in the plaza of our minds. The factory

is compressed in a tiny box and the farm

is littered with embers that click

out in midday sun. The songs

that warmed the trenches of Bastonne

aren't sung anymore. The wind

that pushed boats in Dunkirk

have gone elsewhere, and the poems

that lit the rubble of war from Waterloo

to Cajamarca, Yorktown to the Mekong Delta.

All gone.

The virulent force of my hands

that held torches on winter's nights

that I passed onto sweaty hands

of car workers in Macomb County

have fizzled out. The grease on gloves

of coalminers in Welch and steel

workers in Steelton are washed away

by invisible rains. Yet I can still recall

the cadence of lostness while young men

and women fight and die in Raqqa.

I can still smell the stench of dead camels

in oil fields in Riyadh. I hear the howl

of babies fed with toxic fear in Medellin

and Pyongyang. In my dreams

at night, I see electric eels along

the breakwaters in the South China Sea.

The foul aroma of gunpowder

in a Chicago sidestreet that devour

the scent of magnolias in the park.

The memories are still alive in me.

Skeletons of buffalos in Tahlequah

and murk of dumpsters, lost

keystones to violated treaties

in the plains and pueblos. Memories live.

But memories belong to the past.

Yet the agony remains unattended.

I want to come out and continue

the trek to freedom but I lost my way

as I lost my strength. I don't know how

to get to the plaza anymore. I am lost

in the far lefts of the north

and the alt rights of the west, and centers

of the east, and the left and right

of the south. I don't even know anymore

what kind of voice speaks of freedom

and justice. I will not be

welcomed to the gathering. I am misplaced.

I don't belong to anyone's polar extreme.

But those who go out early know

that there will be no dahlias that bloom and die:

they will all live yet mired in numbers and laws

in games of death, in loud anger.

Imprisoned in a shipwreck of blood.

I just couldn't navigate the plaza anymore.

So I will not be there.

Yet despite the fact that I lost my armour

my boots, my flag, my drums, my megaphone

my pen, my guitar, and my car and all the

tools that took me to the road, I still have one

last possession that I know will one day

bring us all together again.

My heart. ☮️🗽☮️

–Pasckie Pascua, from “Sweat! Poems of Grease and Mud.” 

Peace in America? Cracks in the Streets. Days of Disquiet.

LET me inhale-exhale first and place my (outside looking in) objectivity to crush whatever subjective drama that I harbor in me. <>I am not new to deaths in the streets where police (military, riot cops) confront protesters or civilians. I am a veteran of dictatorship-days tempests, both as a journalist and activist. Philippines, 1980s-1990s. These happened before my eyes, even. <>But I am new to this kind of street violence or public shootings, in America. From 1999 Columbine to this recent incident in Minneapolis, perpetrated by civilians or law enforcement. So I’d tackle this in a different but related context.

       In Martial Law Philippines or during my coverage of the countryside war in Asia, my primal response to a person (police, soldier, Communist rebel, civilian) with a gun pointed at me and who yelled: “Stop!” I’d stop. Common sense. Even in actual war, when a combatant who drew the gun first yelled “Stop!” to the enemy combatant, the latter stopped and raised his/her hand in surrender. (Of course, per mass shootings in America, the shooter doesn’t yell stop, so you better run or hide or whatever. Save your life.) 

       In many cases or videos of “cop shoots civilian” (or takes down, choke-holds, a civilian) in the U.S. that I saw, the victims were resisting or “moving/running,” regardless of the cop's weapon/s drawn (or holstered). I didn’t really see these police-resistance or outright defiance in “military ruled” Philippines. Yet many soldiers in dictatorship Philippines went on mowing down protesters, in full view of the public and the media. More tragic.  

       So my question on impulse, in the Minneapolis shooting: Why didn’t the victim stop? Clearly, the cherry-picked video (always edited as in others) tells me, the ICE operatives were telling the driver to stop. Or by sheer instinct, when law enforcement approaches you, you gotta stop moving. Checkpoints, random traffic stops etcetera. Of course, given the heat of the moment as fueled by the eerie divide or hate-Trump howl in the current-day U.S., cops or ICE or law enforcers are told to exercise “maximum tolerance.” 

       But “maximum tolerance,” many times, flies away as adrenaline gets the better of the police. Yet I can’t really judge that since I am not a cop or a rebel combatant or a soldier (I don’t even own a gun). With rage and anger thrown all over ICE faces wherever they go, as they attend to their job, that “maximum tolerance” mojo is really tough to comply with. (A major reason why I don’t own a gun is–I have a short fuse.) 

       Anyhow, a full-investigation (of the Minneapolis tragedy) is warranted. If I am Defense or Prosecution, or whatever, I’d like to see the full, unedited video that led to the ICE operatives approaching the SUV and then firing. I won’t use the videos that are splashed all over social media but I’d enjoin the public to come forward in case they have a full, longer video. Then, the obligatories: The ICE agent’s mental state etc etcetera. 

       In a calmer voice, I’d like to say, an ICE agent–not President Trump–shot an American in America. That matters a lot per public perception of an individual crime or particular police-public engagement. Meanwhile, although that isn’t as simple-linear as the typical mass shooting here by a disturbed person, the mental placement of a law enforcer matters, especially in these days of hate and disquiet. Of course, there’s “command responsibility” as in careful deployment of ICE agents in “hot areas.” (Minnesota is currently hot, also because of the corruption probe, not just because of the unpopularity of ICE to this side of the divide.) What I am saying is internal affairs (IA) investigates their own, too. 

       Looking in from the outside again, my overall take on this is exactly what my dad used to scold me about when I insisted on going out as protests burned the streets of Manila in those years: “Don’t go out. Stay at home. Don’t get shot.” ☮️🗽☮️

On the subject of the ICE agent’s shooting of a civilian. 

Response to an FB friend’s question.

MY reflex then (in front of soldiers in Manila's Martial Law) and my instinct these days in America (when caught amidst an intense street protest, cops all over): Comply and heed once told to stop by law enforcement with a gun.  I was in fact told to freeze and pinned to the ground by cops in 1999's Battle of Seattle and LA protests in Obama days, though I was there as a journalist, not a protester. Same with the Occupy days in NYC in 2011. Cops stopped me and asked for an ID. I complied. Why would I run? Be shot? They have a gun! 

       As a protest organizer in the past, I was vehemently against engaging riot police and part of our duty as dissent leaders (as well as the police) was to advise the public to avoid the ruckus or noise where we are (something untoward may happen). As protesters, we had medics and first-aid people. My strong words to protesters who were my responsibility: "Don't dare the cops. Yield. We'll deal with circumstances later but don't challenge the man with the gun." 

       Based on the Minneapolis videos that I saw, the ICE agents approached the black SUV. By sheer reflex, if I was the driver, I'd stop. Same with being flagged down, just stay put. The shooting was uncalled for but given all the wayward adrenaline of the situation, people yelling and stuff, and a black van whose driver refused to comply, the ICE guy shot. As I said, uncalled for. But what if? These happen a lot, of course. 

       There was even one that I covered when a cop shot a teenager (a boy) who brandished a toy gun, mentally-bothered victims who posed danger to bystanders, victims who died resisting arrest. This ICE guy will surely lose his job or be sent to jail, I expect, for the quickie response or lack of maximum tolerance. But this case isn't a linear "cop shot civilian" case. ☮️🗽☮️

Before President Trump lost his cool on Nic Maduro.

Response to a Facebook post. 

BEFORE Mr Trump finally issued his end game. 

       This: The United States’ Chevron has been back in Caracas since 2019. Venezuela's top oil seller to China is state-owned PDVSA but Chevron also ships oil to the dragon. Meanwhile, China is #3 top buyer of U.S. oil, aside from the fact that Donald Trump and Xi Jinping are on trade truce; they have recently agreed to cool silicon deals, which features Nvidia. The U.S. government gets a 25 percent cut from Nvidia's sales in China. China could pull back again from buying U.S. soybeans if this drama escalates. So this is not about oil. 

       With Mr Maduro out and whoever replaces him (Maria Corina Machado?) shipments of Venezuelan oil to China and wherever carry on. Business as usual. 

       A U.S. shudder of Venezuela is the same somehow with the Iran whip via Operation Midnight Hammer in June. Mr Trump pressures Mr Maduro on drug cartels; nuke issues in Tehran. Yet China (world's top oil importer) is also the main buyer of Iran's oil. The most recent news before The D lost his patience was that Maduro agreed to talk with the U.S. about drugs, as Russia mediates. 

       Before all these: Presidents Trump and Claudia Sheinbaum have agreed to block Mexican drug cartels in their usual routes leading to America’s southern borders. So these cartels stand to lose over $70 billion in annual revenue in the U.S. alone as the market here starts to panic. So Sinaloa and CJNG hooked up with Venezuela's Cartel de los Soles and Tren de Aragua to explore other alternative routes, such as the Venezuela/Colombia options. 

       The top drug cartel in Colombia is Clan del Golfo, which took over from Escobar's Medellin and Rodriguez-Orejuela's Cali. (Note: If Gustavo Petro doesn't concur with Trump next, expect POTUS to hit Colombia's reliance on US military aid. Colombia has always been the top US arms recipient in Latin America.) ☮️☮️☮️

Response to a Left-winger who insists “It’s about oil.”

THAT would be the classic Left-wing rationale, which I also concurred with in the past. Need we reangle the partisanship angst? As the 21st century strode in, geopolitical power play evolved, anchored on China shaking the grid. 

       These: Since 2018, the U.S. has been the world's top oil producer. And already, America gets 60 to 62 percent of Canadian oil exports. #2 and #3 US importers are Mexico and Saudi Arabia. The U.S. doesn't need Venezuela's oil; risks are high. If this “regime-change” styled hit is about oil, this is about China. Xi Jinping or the CCP is getting pissed that shipments of Venezuelan oil are threatened by Mr Trump's drama with Nic dude. Some 80+ percent of Caracas' oil goes to China (add that Chevron, while back in Venezuela since 2019, is also shipping oil to China). 

       Meanwhile, China is #3 buyer of U.S. oil. I bet, BRICS bros China and Russia told The D to finish this thriller now. Russia mediated (before the U.S. took out the Maduro couple) and it'd seem Nicanor was out to talk about drug trafficking. But obviously he didn't. So Don lost his patience. Enter Maria Corina Machado and oil shipments to China carry on. U.S./China trade truce stays. ☮️☮️☮️

Compilation of my short MORNING THOUGHTS.

Previously posted on my Facebook Page.

I am not a fan of political humor. Nope. But I wasn’t—when I was younger or when I was openly advocating radical Leftist ideals. In fact, I worked as scriptwriter for TV political gag shows and wrote speeches—jazzed up with easy jokes—for progressive politicians and protest leaders. Not anymore. Essentially because I evolved as unaligned. How annoying it is to hear/read “foul” humor that is targeted vs a political party or polar extreme ism, Left or Right. 👈😾👉

Bucks rookie MarJon Beauchamp surprised his mother with a new house! Sweet! MarJon isn’t a Top 10 pick though 1st rounder, #24. But that already meant $2.5 million this season and $12 million in the next 4 years of his rookie deal. Getting into pro ball isn’t easy. Lots of work. Many superstars, notably LeBron James, were raised by single mothers. Or out of poverty, including Giannis Antetokounmpo, who now earns $40 million. So happy for these young men! Live it up!⛹️💰⛹️

The upsides of homebased work. Accomplish stuff for equilibrium, while we beat deadlines—on jammies. In between Zoom, run a “mile” on the treadmill or shake your booty to Just Dance—while with your dog. Satisfy your streaming series fix, cook paella, “earth romance” while at work. No need to drive out and back and consume fuel energy or mental energy on road races. Homebased? Cool! So why are you so funky dramatic with your nonstop memes? LOL! 🗣👀✍️

In my younger years, conversations were easy. Serious stuff in re politics and ideologies or religious conviction? We’d gather, share a drink and talk—as grownups. Rowdy retorts and foul language were banished right there. Non-serious stuff like tabloid UFOs and silly movies? We’d laugh and laugh, no room for nasty political humor. These days via Social Media? Mostly about bashing and shaming. Self-righteous partisan blah. Thank God/dess for the funny dog videos! 🗣🧠🫂

The Whiteness of the Narrative. I notice that most of those who howl racism are white or those who are louder on Social Media per BLM are white. Anti-rich, anti-inequality, antifa etcetera. Mostly white. But then almost 70 percent of America is White. What I don't agree with is when others who are neither White or Black are categorically labelled as White or Black, only because their skin says so—to pump up a political/partisan angst or heighten the divide.☮️💝☯️

Say it again. I try my best to be cool when I comment on others' pages but I do comment in long, complete sentences. Sure, I'd get inane, rude, and foul response/s--so I seldom read back even though I get notification. I only check if the person is the grownup that I know behaves as a grownup, regardless he/she disagrees. So if I accidentally read the immature retort, I don't type a response which is a counter-immaturity. Nope. Got other grownup stuff to do. 🗣👥👀

President Biden’s visit to Saudi Arabia, although widely criticized, is expected. Economics, this time. Never mind that he previously lambasted the Kingdom for the 2018 killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi. Mr Joe as he is, Biden commenced the meeting with Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman a.k.a. MBS with a bro styled fist bump. Cool? A fist bump? That’ll give you an idea how Joe’s advisory staff’s mindset works. Or maybe the President improvised again? 🇺🇸☮️🇸🇦

LeBron James gets the heat for his comment/s on Brittney Griner’s Russia situation. Media say/s his words were irresponsible. Google `em. Want to go dig deeper? LeBron was probably suggesting, Washington refuses to negotiate for a prisoner exchange with the Kremlin. Etcetera. Complex. Yet many on Social Media, as well as conventional media op-ed, somehow said the same thing albeit in harsher words. But then this is LeBron. Are you LeBron? Nope? So say it, LOL! 🗣👥👀

My son Duane and cousins the Fernandez sisters. Millennials. Stark contrasts with my youth—before the internet, of course. We’d climb trees, run all over the `hood, play basketball in the plaza, make noise with the band etc etcetera. But good to know that Duane and his generation (in the family) balance the chakras as well. He is an active martial arts dude. His cousins got outdoor fun, too. Plus they TikTok and Facebook `em. Sure. Bottomline, they hang as family. 👨‍👨‍👧‍👧💻👨‍👨‍👧‍👧

White America’s White Problem. Today’s News: “Non-white and working-class Democrats worry more about the economy, while white college graduates focus more on cultural issues like abortion rights and guns.” America is 72.4 percent White. So the media runs the narrative that America is white or black/non-white. Polar extremes. Yet those who criticize White are mostly White. The middle ground is ignored. On that spot, a crack ensues. We fall in that fissure. 🗣👥👀

MAGA. MAG. or MGF. Or Simply, America is #1?

Response to a Facebook post. 

MAGA. Make America Great Again. Great. Many English adjectives are used in an exaggerated manner, I notice. Great. Amazing. Unbelievable. Incredible. Awesome. Dictator. Hitler (as adjective). Pervert. Marvelous. Breathtaking. Etcetera. I think it's because the West used to subjugate and colonize the majority of the world? Americans and Europeans believe they are the greatest, indeed. Are the others, lesser humans? LOL! 

       My honest or pragmatic take: The Left makes fun of "Make America Great Again" because they believe America has always been great or Great forever and ever. At least there is an "Again" in MAGA which says the greatness has been diminished or America isn't great anymore. So Donald Trump seeks to regain the “lost” greatness. I think that is a fact. America is not great anymore. 

       When China strode into the global market in 2001, the Dragon shook the geopolitical power grid. China's 4 world-leading state-owned banks weakened the loans monopoly of the IMF and World Bank. China actually started buying lands overseas right after Mao Zedong died as Deng Xiaoping gave birth to the CCP’s game-changing “open-door” policy in the 1970s. So apart from the mainland's massive workforce, the Politburo owned so many lands globally. And this: They also own many pertinent raw materials that the West needs as staple "ingredients." Such as silicon and APIs to meds. Etc etcetera. 

       By virtue of that, plus the economic gains of the Asian Tigers and Tiger Cubs (from the ashes of the 1990s currency crash that Wall Street demigod George Soros masterminded) and the Middle East, add the advent of BRICS “emerging markets” and Asia Pacific’s RCEP (2020, the largest trade bloc so far), America and Europe's greatness wobbled. 

        These days: Europe or the EU is a lot "less great" than the US though. The U.S. stays #1 (I prefer #1 over Great) because currently the U.S.' trade relations with China, Asia per se (Japan, South Korea, India, Taiwan) and BRICS and the Middle East or Arab League is doing fine. But if the U.S. insists on military brinksmanship or outright invasion to influence or grab power, then America ceases to be #1. Not that China or Russia can defeat the U.S. in WW3. Nope. It's because the majority of the world will not side with America. They will just smile and say okay (just being nice). Think how Joe Biden's Russia sanction didn't work per the Ukraine war. Why? 

       The world's economy is already dependent on China or BRICS. And war is bad for business, which is modern China's slogan for trade expansionism. Anyhow, I am baffled when the Left makes fun of MAGA, should it be MAG, drop the “Again,” uh huh? or AGF as in America is Great Forever? Why do I ask? You see, when talking of China's "greatness" or Made in China or Temu, both the Left and Right and center of America howl in displeasure. Nah ah! America is better! We are the Greatest! LOL! ☮️🗽☮️

The ICE Paranoia, what has the U.S. government promised me, and related rants.

Response to a Facebook post. 

CAMPAIGN promises. And lies. <>Obama's campaign (I covered it in California, Arizona and Nevada): Leniency to illegal migrants, end of Afghanistan war, closure of Guantanamo, better economy. What America had in Barry's years: A record (still) deportation high of 400,000 average, Afghanistan war stretched to 20 years and trillions$ in U.S. taxpayer money wasted as he hosted a recession. 

       But he wasn't demonized big time because he is COOL. I was in the West Coast because of the obvious reasons: Get new lawyers because ICE scared me as I produced anti-war concerts and published an anti-war newspaper. And my family who sent me money stopped sending due to the obvious. I needed a real job in L.A. I worked as an editor of an Asian newspaper. 

       <>Donald Trump: His personality is disgusting. But he tries his best to end wars. Repeat: I am anti-war. He cuts funding for USAID. I can rant how USAID in cahoots with George Soros' Open Society nonprofit underlings carried out their sinister plans in Asia, and how these "aid" was used as quid pro quo for trade gains and corruption by host governments. Etc etcetera. (Check how Mr Soros, the liberal funding demigod, masterminded the crash of Asian currency in the 1990s that made me fly to New York for a job.) 

       Troops in cities? Check Asheville how drugs proliferated from the year 2000. How did cops pull back, scared of cellphone cams than criminal guns? Having lived through dictatorship and military rule, I know how soldiers were. EJKs. Extra judicial killings. But did Trump's soldiers openly shoot at protesters the way I experienced them?  

       Maximum tolerance: Hit law enforcers with Subway sandwich? Ain’t that cool for insult trajectory? Yet crime is down in Chicago, Memphis, Albuquerque. Drug boats in Venezuelan waters? Yup. Because these hounds' entry point or passage in Darien Pass and Rio Grande to the U.S. border have been blocked by Claudia Sheinbaum and Mr Trump. Collateral damage of 20 in those hits? What about collateral damage in Ukraine and Gaza and 20 years of the Afghanistan war, which Trump ended with Doha Accords in 2020. 

       What has the US government promised me? None. I just stay realistic of my life. I don't break the law, I don't do SNAP, I enjoy a better economy than 2009, and I pray to my Filipino god and “anito” that all these wars that Washington feeds or fed end. As long as Mr Trump tries to end them and cut those dubious aid in favor of better trade deals, I am good as PBR and chicken pork adobo and my rice. And a dog and 2 cats. 

       Happy in America. 🗽🏃‍♀️🏃

ADD. Meme or signboard elsewhere: “Trump cares not for us.” 

       Pragmatically speaking, as a foreigner from a country that has been colonized by America for over 50 years and a government that is a zealot Washington ally, that line should read "America cares not for us" and I am talking about a Truth rather than a Fact for centuries. But then should the world depend on America as a dole-out pal or sweet benefactor? No. The world should not. 

Instead, America should treat the rest of the world on even ground. For example, lose the 750 military bases in 80 countries, cut the $840 billion military budget, cut the NATO juice, deal trade instead in a fair arrangement. Invite erstwhile "rogue leaders" to White House, negotiate economics, broker peace. 

       As my (white) American friends tell me: "I work, pay my bills, enjoy Netflix. I know, Pasckie, you've experienced the worst in your country. We whine a lot because the privileges that we so enjoy seem to have lessened because our President sends more money to a war and to bail giant corporations out." So I share leftover dinners and rehashed GMOs with my Conservative American BFFs Marta and Cindy. And then we laugh. 🗽🏃‍♀️🏃